Agency and motivation in running and learning

A siren caught us on our way to Maya’s gymnastics. It started and we started running — Maya, Shiloh, and I — towards the sports complex (we weren’t very close yet but it was the closest building).

It always feels so personal. I know that Houthis aren’t specifically aiming their missiles at me and my child and my dog, but it feels like they are.

The instructions say we have 90 seconds in this part of the country to get to the shelter. We ran maybe for that long, maybe longer, or maybe much less than that... it’s hard to say… up the hill, past the park, across the road, through the parking lot, up the stairs, through the main entrance, then finally down the stairs into the basement of the sports complex…

As we ran, I remembered how earlier that day I looked up an app called “Zombies, Run!” whose goal is to make running more fun by immersing you in a story where you’re a survivor of a Zombie apocalypse. I even considered getting it to motivate me to run more.

Now, of course, I realized that I was already very motivated to run as fast as I could when I had to.

Extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation

The reason I stumbled upon Zombies, Run! was because I’ve been thinking about how technology can be both super helpful and a real obstacle when it comes to… well everything, but particularly learning languages.

Apps often teach us to rely too much on extrinsic motivators.

Extrinsic motivators are outside factors such as money, grades, a puppy for your birthday if you clean up your room every day for a year; (imaginary) Zombies, and (real) Houthi missiles. And in the case of many apps — dings, streaks, badges, and likes (yes I’m looking at you Duolingo.)

Intrinsic motivation is when you want to clean your room simply because you enjoy the process of cleaning, OR you enjoy living in a clean room 🙄. Or when you’re learning something because you’re enjoying the process of learning.

Of course, it’s best if we’re always intrinsically motivated to do all the stuff that’s good for us, but that’s unrealistic, and there is no harm in getting a kick in the butt from an app when you really want to start running but can’t (I learned about Zombies, Run! from this article by

Gurwinder

where he mentions it as the good kind of tech that helps you develop a helpful habit off the screen.)

But I still wonder what we’re losing when we delegate all the decision-making to technology.

Maybe the biggest thing we lose is agency and the opportunity to learn about ourselves. If I only run when the app tells me to run I’ll never have a chance to learn how I like to run.

And if I’m too dependent on streaks and dings and badges, I’ll never learn how I like to learn.

I don’t have anything more profound to say about this today because I’m too exhausted from all external motivators telling me to run. But maybe I will soon.

Things we can control

Lots of people were already huddling in the basement of the sports complex. Many familiar faces, people who I hadn’t seen in a long time because I usually just drop Maya off and leave.

Shiloh ran in with us. Dogs aren’t usually allowed inside but of course, nobody cares if there is a siren.

Raz, Maya’s first-year coach, approached us: “Did you see how much progress she’s been making? Have you seen her lately?” She patted Maya’s back, “Hey, can I have a hug?” But Maya was still crying and clinging to me.

Rani was there — Maya’s wonderful sports teacher from when she was four years old and was going to his sports therapy class, a class designed for kids who needed a bit of help with motor development and/or confidence building and social skills.

He petted Shiloh. “Is she a golden retriever?” “No, a Labrador,” I said. “Almost the same thing. Shorter hair.”

Then I say (because I never had a chance to say that before): “Remember how you taught Maya to do a baby cartwheel? It’s after that that she asked to do gymnastics.”

“Oh really?” He says, still petting Shiloh.

There is something else I remember but don’t tell him. I didn’t forget that time when they were supposed to do some exercise (archery?) and he asked the kids if anybody had any objections, and Maya whispered that she was scared. Then he said, cheerfully, that they’re gonna do something else instead. Something that’s fun and isn’t scary to anyone. How he gave agency to a tiny girl to decide for herself (and everyone else) and didn’t blink an eye.

After waiting for the required 10 minutes in the basement, we dispersed. Maya went to the sports hall, and Shiloh and I went back home.

An hour and a half later we came to pick her up. She was still shaken: “I wanna take a taxi home! We walk everywhere!”

But we walked. I told her that we’d make sure to walk on the side of the street that has more buildings so we could hide easily in case of a siren (because these are the things we can control). She said she didn’t wanna talk about sirens.

And neither do I.

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