How to Keep Your Language Learning Exciting

what is your USSM goal?

Most people who start learning a new language are highly motivated at first, but then they sort of deflate.

Some say they lack the self-discipline to keep going.

Others decide they lack talent.

But learning a language (or, ideally, learning anything) shouldn’t ever be a chore. It doesn’t mean it should be effortless, it just means it should be exciting.

Think “You’re six and you’re learning how to ride a bike” exciting.

Think “You’re 43 and you’re working to increase your 1RM bench press” exciting.

Think “You’re nine and you're determined to balance on your mom’s foam roller for two seconds longer than your 15-year-old brother” exciting.

As someone raised in the Soviet environment that taught me that my intuition, desires, and preferences were always wrong and that I should do what I’m told, I've come to realize that our intuition is almost always right.

The author as a young child in the Soviet kindergarten forced to be photographed with a washing board, despite her intuition explicitly telling her that washing boards are not her thing.

Actually, Soviet or not, most of us spent our childhood in a public school system that taught us that boredom and lack of motivation are part of the deal, that you just have to plow through these, to avoid being labeled ‘lazy’.

I disagree. I think that boredom and lack of motivation are how our brain and body communicate with us. The question is what is the message they’re trying to convey? Here are some possible interpretations.

You outgrew whatever tool you’re using

At first, Glossika was great, but then I missed a couple of days, and soon I noticed that I had to drag myself to do it. That wasn’t a good sign.

Did it mean I wasn’t interested in learning Manx anymore? Maybe. Or maybe I outgrew Glossika and my brain was ready for something else.

The thing is, no tool is gonna work forever. At some point — in a month, in a year, or maybe after only a few days — there’ll come a point when it’ll stop working for you, or it won’t be enough anymore and you’ll need to add something else into the mix.

It doesn’t mean you’re lazy and unmotivated. Nor does it mean that the tool officially sucks. It just means you’re ready to move on.

That’s why I'm not a huge fan of using Duolingo as your primary learning tool. Because it makes sure you never get bored with it. And that’s a problem. Boredom, like I said, is how our brain communicates with us. But Duolingo, like all persuasive tech, is designed to numb your body’s natural intuition to make sure you stay on the app forever, regardless of whether or not you’re getting something from it.

You don’t have a USSM goal

It’s ok to start without a goal because, initially, the novelty of it all will be enough to spur you on, but pretty soon you want to have a goal. And you want this goal to be ultra-specific and super motivating (or USSM).¹ It’s like SMART goals only more fun.

Becoming fluent in Cantonese by the end of the year is not specific at all, fluency being a vague concept by definition.

Memorizing 1214 flashcards of the most common Estonian verbs by Thursday is ultra-specific but not motivating enough (to most people).

Even “Learning 100 new Glossika sentences” isn’t exciting enough of a goal to pursue.

Ideally, your USSM goal should have something to do with the use of the language, because this is why we’re learning languages.

Here are some examples of USSM goals:

Learn the Ge’ez script so that I can read the sign above that Ethiopian spice shop next time I pass by that store (not my actual goal but could be one day).

Learn enough Swahili to write a letter to my (imaginary) Kenyan-based grandma.

Place my order in Thai the next time I visit that Thai restaurant next month.

Be able to read and understand “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” in Maori by the end of the week.

Be able to read and understand one story of the Vampire Chronicles in Manx by next week.

This is how I knew, by the way, that I didn’t get tired of Manx. The minute I found these Vampire Chronicles, I knew I found my USSM goal.

In fact, your whole learning journey should be jumping from one USSM goal to the next. And then fluency (whatever that is), or suddenly being able to yell at the people in the post office in their native language, should just be pleasant side effects of your already exciting learning journey.

You’re following someone else’s agenda

I’m gonna let you in on a secret: nobody knows anything about anything.

We’re all just making our best guesses as we go, some better informed than others, some just louder than everyone else’s.

You can spend your whole life chasing the perfect way to eat, sleep, exercise, or learn languages, only to discover you’re following someone else’s agenda that doesn’t work for you. Or that you have to update your process and restock your pantry every two weeks when new “research-supported” advice comes out.

Of course, there are general guidelines and well-tested best practices.

Like, for example, don’t eat 2 kg of pure white sugar every day to avoid getting diabetes.

But other than that nobody knows anything.

For example, Andrew Huberman here says that we can only do 90 minutes of focused work at a time, be it learning a skill or writing a novel. It makes sense (and is based on science) but the details will be vastly different from one person to the other or even from one day to the next. Some days you’ll be able to stay on task for 2 hours and other days only 7 minutes.

For example, I can tell you that it’s much easier to learn the Thai writing system when you already know how to speak, but if you’re just dying to learn how to write it first or while you’re learning the five tones, and you wanna make “write a two-sentence letter to my (imaginary) Thailand-based grandma” your first USSM goal, than who am I to stop you?

The hardest part of the learning process is not the learning itself. The hardest part is becoming your own best and kindest kindergarten teacher, learning to listen to your boredom, and finding the tools and resources to keep yourself engaged. If you do this hard work, the learning itself will be easy.

That is, “trying to watch a YouTube video while curled into a pretzel” easy.

The author’s child’s intuition usually tells her that watching a video in a pretzel is the best way to watch a video

Friends with Words is the main thing I do this year. If you find these posts inspiring, entertaining, and educational enough to want to buy me a virtual coffee ☕, you can now do so. And I would be so very grateful. And I’m so very grateful to those of you who have already done it or are doing it every month 🙏 💜

1. Methinks I’m going to patent this acronym. I like it because it sounds like “USSR.”